Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Just Breathe

The human body does not need to be reminded to breathe. We don't physically tell ourselves to inhale and exhale with every breath.It's all automatic until something goes wrong, and then it's not so automatic anymore.

Just Breathe Melanie, Just Breathe

Most of the time, when I feel on the verge of losing it, I repeat those words over and over and over again to keep my mind focused on that simple act, simply breathing. By focusing my attention I can often pull my pain inward even further, and stretch my fake smile for just a little longer.

Just Breathe Melanie, Just Breathe

There are times when some unexpected random thought hits me, and it takes my breath away. I freeze unable to move, think or function until my thoughts take over and I hear myself repeating...

Just Breathe Melanie, Just Breathe

Thousands of times everyday those words run through my mind.

Just Breathe Melanie, Just Breathe

I need this to control my pain, anger, and hurt. I needed those words to keep me from yelling at the little boy who made fun of my daughter tonight at gymnastics. I needed those words when someone asked where my husband worked. I need those words as tears stream down my face while trying to drive.

Just Breathe Melanie, Just Breathe

If ever I'm talking to you and it seems like I'm not paying attention, please don't take offense. It could be that I'm simply focused on telling myself to just breathe.


Monica said...

No one, unless they've been in your shoes, will ever be able to fully comprehend the pain that you and your children are going through right now. This poem is simply beautiful. Very moving. Time will not erase the hurt that you feel, but it will ease it. Of course, that will take a while... But, in the mean time and also for the future, I am thankful for all the wonderful memories that you have that can help comfort you during the most difficult of days...and those can never be taken away. You can cherish those forever. Plus, you have your 3 amazing children that will brighten every day with just a simple smile. You are truly blessed. Keep in mind that you have many people that care about you deeply and love you very much... I'm here if you ever need me...
I think about you quite often..
Love ya,

sandy said...

i'm so glad you are doing this.

Melanie said...

Thank you both. I miss him so much and this has been good for me.