Friday, July 8, 2011

I'll Keep On Wasting All My Time

Title of this post was taken from the song Over and Over by Three Days Grace.

My mom is a thief. She stole my kids for the night. Okay, maybe I willingly let them go. Mom decided to keep my niece for the night, and of course my three darlings wanted to stay with her as well. They've been gone maybe an hour and I'm not sure what to do with myself. 

 The couch is missing three little bodies.

The Wii remotes are sitting where the kids left them, and will sit lonely until the kids come home.

 It's rainy out, and I'm incredibly sunburned, so I don't feel like going out. I have a few books I need to catch up on so maybe I'll do that. This is only the second time I've been home alone for the night since Mike passed. Three months ago I would have done anything for a night alone at home...well alone with Mike. Now, I'm simply alone. On the upside I have found several great websites for widows and widowers and it's given me the chance to connect with people who understand what I'm going through. I don't have to sensor myself or worry about how I sound. I ache for them and their losses, and hate that we are making connections due to the death of our loved ones, but I am grateful for them.


Beverly said...

Good Morning , Melanie ! I'm glad you've found those sites....there is healing in being able to talk with people who have experienced a loss , like yours. Hope you were able to sleep last night. Have a good weekend ! We love you.

Unknown said...

I felt the same way the first weekend my husband had the girls during our divorce period. I didn't know what to do with myself. As time went on I was able to find ways to use the time to refresh and revive myself and found that I was a much better mother when I took that time to do something for me. Sorry I always talk about my divorce on here but it's the way I relate to a way. I'm glad you found those websites. It's always helpful to talk to someone who knows exactly what you're going through. Although, as far as I'm concerned, you don't have to worry about how you sound or censoring yourself here. This is your space. Take care and have a good weeked.

Melanie said...

Beverly - Thank you. I'm starting to sleep a little better. Some nights I get four hours instead of three. Slow improvements.

Katrina - I think I'm realizing the importance of this as the months have gone by. I think I feel guilty for asking those who already help me so much, but I need those breaks. I appreciate the support. Hope you are having a good weekend! Love you blog by the way!