The title of this post was taken from the song Maybe by Sick Puppies.
Today was our first day of school. So many things have changed over the last year, and because Mike can't be here I decided that each of the kids would wear something that would help keep their dad close on their first day of school.
Overall they had a really good day, and I'm grateful.
Mason and I did have an interesting experience early this morning. I've really debated about whether to share it or not. I think I will, but it's rather personal so...if you comment please be kind, and don't think we're crazy.
I slept on the couch again last night, and around 1:00 Mason woke me up and said he wanted to be with me. I put him on the other couch and tucked him in. I woke up a little before four, and was debating whether to get up or read a book, when Mason woke up. Here is the conversation that followed.
Mason: Mom, what's that?
Mason: That right there. (He was pointing to the coffee table)
Me: What? On the table?
Mason: No, right there above the table. (He stands up and focuses his eyes on something.)
Me: (I quickly sit up, but I don't see anything.) Mason, what do you see?
Mason: See it mom? (He reaches out his hand, and pulls it away.) It tickles. (He giggles)
Me: (I'm starting to freak out a little. I don't see anything.) What do you see? Is it a light?
Mason: No, It's invisible. (He's just standing there looking above the table.)
Me: Invisible? You mean you can see through it?
Mason: Yea. (He comes over and sits on the edge of the couch with me.)
Me: Do you still see it?
Mason: It moved. There's one right there Mom. (He points to the corner of the rug.)
Me: Where hun?
Mason: (He gets up and walks to the other side of the table.) It's right here now. (He reaches out his hand again.)
Me: Sweetie, I don't see anything.
Mason: It won't let me touch it. (He turns slightly and his eyes move to the ceiling) Oh, it's leaving.
Me: Where did it go?
Mason: It just left. (He comes over and sits on the couch with me again.)
Me: What did it look like?
Mason: It was invisible.
Me: Were you scared?
Me: Is this the first time you've seen something like this?
Me: And you weren't scared?
Mason: No, it reminded me of when Daddy was here.
Me: Was it like a light?
Mason: No, it was just invisible.
Me: Did it look like a person?
Mason: No. (He draws a vague shape with his finger in the air.)
Me: Was it big?
Mason: Yea, it reached the ceiling.
Me: But it didn't look like a person?
Me: And you weren't scared?
Mason: NO! It just reminded me of Daddy.
Me: And this was the only time you have seen this invisible thing?
Mason: Yea (He picks up the remote and turns on Phineas and Ferb.)
Me: What do you think you saw?
Mason: MOM! Just stop asking me about it.
Me: I just want to understand what you saw?
Mason: It just reminded me of Dad! Can I just watch TV now?
A few minutes later
Mason: Mom, if I died in my sleep there would be only three people in our house.
Me: You are right, but I don't want anything to happen to you.
Mason: If I died how would I eat?
Me: I don't think you will need food in Heaven.
Mason: But, I'll be with Dad right?
Me: Yes, you would be with dad, but it would make mommy very sad.
Mason: I don't want to make you sad, because then you would cry.
Me: I would.
Mason: Why are you crying now?
Me: It makes me sad to even think about you not being here, and I miss your dad.
Mason: Me too.His explanation of what he saw never changed. I questioned him again before school, and then after and he gave me the same answers. Was he seeing Mike's spirit? While it seemed comforting to him, it really freaked me out.