The title of this post was taken from the song Angel by Sarah McLachlan.
I like to hug those close to me. I hug my kids all the time. I hug my mom, dad, sister and brothers every time I see them. What I miss more than anything in the whole world is having Mike here to engulf me in his arms. I know it's never going to happen again, and it leaves me feeling so very alone. I've had a lot of people tell me that I should start dating. Nope, I can't even imagine that at this moment. I mean can you imagine me trying to date right now. I can picture it. "Ummm...can we stop by the cemetery after dinner so I can visit my husbands grave?" or "Hey, I'm ready for our date, but can we make a quick stop by the funeral home so that I can submit my final decisions for my husbands headstone." I'm such a mess. I guess my whole point in all of this is that I miss being hugged. This statement does not give everyone I know permission to hug me, that would be a little weird.
My last rant for this post and then I'm done. Facebook, is annoying me. If I change my relationship status to widowed then it will erase my relationship with Mike, but we would still be friends. If I memorialize his page then it clears all of his status updates, personal information and anything else. It would allow people to still post on his wall, but there would be no access, via password, to his account. I have already backed up all of his FB stuff so I have all the posts and pictures he ever made, but I'm still not sure that is the route I want to go. There is no rush to change my FB relationship status either, it's just one more thing that sooner or later I'm going to have to deal with, and I've always been one to jump into a problem feet first. This usually means I sink right to the bottom and need help getting myself out of a mess, but nonetheless. Stupid FB.