Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Maybe I'm In The Gap Between The Two Trapezes

     The title of this post was taken from the song Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall by Coldplay.

     Memories so faint they float in the folds of my sub-conscience, they surface when something ignites their return. Those moments often come unannounced, the memories wash over me bringing a flood of emotions. Moments that I didn't even realize existed, memories that I wasn't even aware of, give me pause. 
     Often times these moments are triggered by my sense of smell. A faint scent is enough to take me places I could never physically go again. I can't time travel. The smell of peach candles takes me back to when I was a teenager, sitting in my room on my rug, making shapes with the wax. Certain perfumes remind me of when I dated Mike. The faint smell of the smoke from a Camel cigarette on a warm summers night, reminds me of our many conversations sitting on the front porch. Yesterday I walked into Game Stop. Mike usually took the kids there to pick out games. The smell of the store stopped me in my tracks. Images of Mike and I walking through that store during the holidays hit me. I could see us walking hand in hand as we tried to decide what to buy the kids. I didn't even know that memory existed, and yet there it was. The memory was so real, so consuming, that I could almost feel him next to me. 
     

3 comments:

ethompson said...

Those memories will eventually bring a smile, if they already don't. Just smile and enjoy his presence in those all to brief moments. Maybe that is him trying to comfort you from where he is.

Katrina Jackson said...

I agree with ethompson. Sorry, I've been away for a while, just catching up. I'm glad you have so much male support (in response to your last post) also.
I have the same smell memories all the time. It's amazing how something like a scent can present so many memories. I hope you continue to find strength. Take care!

Mel said...

Sometimes they these memories make me smile. Other times they take me by surprise and leave me numb.

Hope your doing well Katrina!