Sunday, October 30, 2011

Holding On And Holding It In

The title of this song was taken from the song Building a Mystery by Sarah McLachlan.

Me answering the phone in a half way cheerful voice.

Hello?

This is _________ from __________credit card services. Is Mr. Joseph Dawson available?

Static on the line

Hello?

More Static

Ma'am, are you there?

I'm sorry what did you say?

This is ________ from _______credit card services. Is Mr. Joseph Dawson available? 

No, he's not....he's at the cemetery.

Do you know when a good time would be to call him back?

Can I ask what this is in regard to. I'm his wife.

We've noticed that in the last six months there hasn't been any activity on the account and we wanted to make sure everything was okay. Is there another time I could reach him.

Do your phones make long distance calls?

What?

I'm assuming that your phones allow you to make long distance phone calls.

Yes, ma'am they do. Is there another number I should try him at?

I do have another number, are you ready?

Yes, I'll just enter it into our system.

Okay, here is it 1-800-Heaven.

Pardon me?

It's 1-800-Heaven.

I don't understand.

See. Somewhere in your corporate office, in a filing cabinet, there is a file with the name Joseph Michael Dawson. In that file there is a death certificate for him. He passed away on April 14th. I'm just taking a guess here, but I would assume that this would be why he hasn't used your credit card. If there is a problem with it, then I suggest you pray to God and take the matter up with him.

Dead Silence on the line

Hello?

Complete Silence

Hello?

I'm sorry for you loss. We won't contact you anymore.

Music to my ears.

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