Sunday, October 9, 2011

You Just Up And Left Me On This Rock All Alone

    The title of this post was taken from the song Died by Alice In Chains.

    Is it too much to ask that my kids not have to endure any more losses? Really?! Is it too freaking much to ask! I'm angry this morning. The kids had such a good day yesterday, and I felt like we were in an okay place, at least for a moment. We get up this morning, and as we are going about our daily routine we realize that Mel, our guinea pig, was dead. Tears, all over again. All three of my angels were reduced to sitting in the floor crying. I went out to the garage, and found the shovel, and buried our furry little friend in the yard. Praying the whole time that I didn't pick the same spot to bury Mel, that Mike had picked to bury a cat seven years earlier, and our bird.
     In January Sam I Am, our bird, died. April the kids lose their father, and now their guinea pig. What in the world do I tell them? I managed to get a smile when I told them that Mel missed Mike, and wanted to be in heaven with him. What other explanation is there? This wouldn't be such a big deal if we hadn't been through so much anyway this year. It may sound silly to be this upset over a guinea pig, but my kids deserve some happiness. If this is God's way of testing me, I'd like the written test instead. No more please, I simply can't handle anymore.

3 comments:

Beverly said...

I'm so sorry about your little guinea pig ! My heart is hurting for the kids , it has to be so hard for them to understand. I know as hard as it is to find something positive out of all these things , I truly bellieve that your kids are going to grow to be very strong, independant, caring adults with real value for life & that they will live each day , without taking it for granted , like so many of us do. We are not promised tomorrow. Try hard to find a positive in every negative .........believe me I know how hard that is to do but its all we really CAN do or we'd go nuts. Love ya !

ethompson said...

I think God is more of a performance assessment teacher. He doesn't believe in multiple choice tests. He gives us the tools/materials and expects us to apply our knowledge. Sometimes knowledge isn't enough. Sorry for you and the kids.

Katrina Jackson said...

I'm so sorry to hear this! My heart goes out to you that you all get some peace soon. hugs