Thursday, December 29, 2011

Maybe This Year Will Be Better Than The Last. I Can't Remember All The Times I Tried To Tell Myself To Hold On To These Moments As They Pass.

The title of this post was taken from the song A Long December by Counting Crows.

A message was sent at 12am New Years Day 2011, to let you know we loved you so. Work kept you away, but pictures were sent. Your message back was a simple one, luvu too you said. 
January was cold, but warmth filled our home. Goals were made. Not a care in the world or anything to fear, we moved on to February and March with hope in our hearts.

Things were looking up, we'd weathered our share of storms. Plans were coming together, we could see the fruit of our labor...until that devastating day in April. My heart was broken and my world was ripped apart. In a matter of moments all of my hopes, wishes, and dreams came shattering down, landing in a pile at my feet. My three little angels looked up at me, all wanted guidance and direction that I couldn't see.

The next few months were a blur. I don't remember much just the tears and the hurt. Surrounded by family we took one day at a time. New memories were made, amidst all the pain. 

One month tumbled past the next. More tragedy infiltrated our home. Our dear friend Deb slipped from this life to the next, joining Mike in their eternal progression. More tears and sorrow, more pain with no gain. 

A fall in November sent Sebastian to the hospital. Two skull fractures were not what we needed. Once again everyone rallied around and prayers were said. How do we ever repay those who have stayed by our side during these devastating times? We made it through, our family tightly bound. We understood, all too well, how quickly time passed; not a closer family could be found.

Christmas has passed, it wasn't the same. I tried my best to play both roles. Excessive amounts of worry and tears encompassed my days, as I was sure I couldn't do enough to make this a special holiday. All turned out well, as well as could be.

This brings me back to this New Years Eve. Had I known last year where we'd be today, I wouldn't have rushed or hurried through my days. I'd have stayed in his arms just a little bit longer, and let go of things that really didn't matter.

Looking ahead I have three darling children; my lasting gift from my love, my angel. They are my future, my forever, my tomorrow. We will bring in 2012 without much fanfare, some laughter, some smiles, some stories to share, and at the end of the day just the four of us and the love that we share.

Thank you to all the amazing people who have helped us make it through this year. It seems like we faced one difficult moment after another. Your prayers, love, and support has been amazing. While we made new memories, and had some amazing adventures this year, I have hopes and dreams for 2012, and I am ready to end 2011. 


Anonymous said...

I keep trying to post and it dooesn't post.

Anonymous said...

I'll try again, since what was not note worthy got posted. Stupid computer!!! Yes, goodbye to 2011 and hello to 2012--a new year of hope and bright promises. A year of making wonderful memories with the children. A time of continued growth and strenghtening of your beautiful spirit. Mike is never far from us and expecially his wife and beautiful children. He is there urging you on and giving you the necessary strength to go forward until you see him again. Love you so much. Mom

Jill said...

I love this and I love you!