Friday, January 13, 2012

There's An End And A Beginning To The Quiet Chaos Driving Me Mad

The title of this post was taken from the song New York by Snow Patrol.

We haven't had any real snow this year. This morning was a teacher workday, and as I was walking out the door it started to snow. By the time I made it to the interstate the roads were covered. It was beautiful. My desk was a colossal mess, and so as I worked to organize everything I was able to watch the snow come down outside my window. That combined with music made for a pleasant day. I was grateful for the quiet time I was able to spend in my classroom.

As I sat in my room, looking at my picture of Mike, I realized that tomorrow is the 14th. That means it will have been 9 months since he passed. I know every month I say this, but how is that possible! I know how I feel, but I often wonder how Mike is feeling. As he watches over us, what is he thinking. Is he proud of how we are doing, is he disappointed, I wish I knew.

I know that I'm proud of the kids. They've been through so much, but they are holding things together. Sebastian passed his Social Studies SOL this week. I always tell the kids I don't care how they do as long as they try their best. I was worried how he would do being that he missed so much school with his accident, but he pulled it off. I'm so proud of him. I watch Mason as he works on his homework, and I can't help but smile at the progress he's making. It's so cute to watch him trying to read, and writing numbers. I can't believe half of his kindergarten year is over. Tyler seems to like school this year, and is doing well. She is playing volleyball, and has enjoyed it. I wonder what Mike would think about all of this?

My life has changed, and I continue to change. I continue to strive for happiness while keeping an eternal perspective. I'm trying to be more grateful for the people and things I have in my life. I'm trying to live a life that will make my kids proud of me.

1 comment:

Katrina Jackson said...

I think you're doing exactly that. I bet your kids are so proud to have you as their Mom.