Sunday, March 24, 2013

Beneath The Stains Of Time

     The title of this post was taken from the song Hurt by Nine Inch Nails.

     I started this blog shortly after Mike died. In the beginning there really wasn't a purpose it was simply me getting out what I was feeling and dealing with. As time has gone on and my life has started to move on I've lost focus of what I want this blog to be. I've thought about retiring this one and starting a new one. A new blog for the new adventures in my life. Sometimes I feel like I'm moving too far away from what this was meant to be. Maybe I feel guilty that I'm trying to be happy with my life. I don't know. Anyway, I was cleaning out a drawer this afternoon and found a notebook that I also wrote in after Mike died. Those writings are even more in-depth than what I've posted here. I have no plans of publishing those as they are very dark and angry and there are many people in my life that would be offended by them. One thing that I will share is a poem of sorts. This was written June 26, 2011. No title and clearly not finished. Just thoughts.

It softly glows like the sun beginning to rise.
It quietly pulses like my blood through my veins.
It sweetly whispers like that of a gentle breeze.
It teases me when I'm between sleep and awake.
It tortures me when I see them cry.
It leaves me hollow and angry in my moments of despair.
I scream at it only to hear silence echo back.
It makes me smile in quite moments of pondering.
What is it?
My memories of you.

                           Melanie

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