Wednesday, May 7, 2014

So Wake Me Up

The title of this post was taken from the song Wake Me Up by Avicii.

     Every morning I have a small panic attack as I wake Sebastian up for school. I turn on his bedroom light and tell him it's time to get up, and then I hold my breath. I wait for a small movement, the rise and fall of his chest, or the movement of an arm just so that I know he is alive. I know this is completely irrational. What are the chances of him having a heart attack and passing away in his sleep like his dad? Probably not very high, but I panic every morning anyway. I don't do this with the other kids and I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's because Sebastian looks so much like his dad and has so many of his mannerisms. Maybe it's because he sleeps on his side the same way his dad did. Maybe it brings back the images of finding Mike in bed like that. Maybe I just find things to obsess over. I'm not really sure. I just know I feel a lot better once he is up and moving. Here's to a happy Wednesday. It's a remarkable day already because all of my kids are awake, happy, and healthy.

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