Sunday, January 24, 2016

The Wind Is Howling Like This Swirling Storm Inside

     The title of this post was taken from the song Let It Go by Idina Menzel from the movie Frozen.

Summary of this past week...

* Prepared for a huge snow storm.

* A relief valve broke on our boiler, flooding our basement. We had two inches of water covering the entire basement which is also where Sebastian's room is. We had to have someone come out and fix it, and pay emergency fees for them to do so. We've spent most of our snow days alternating between cleaning up the basement and trying to shovel snow. Such good times in our house.

* I've been trying to study for my BCBA exam that I'll be taking in May. I should be motivated to study, but not so much. By the end of the day I just want to sit down and NOT think.

* Work. I've got so many ideas for things I want to do and somehow I have to find the time to make it all work.

* The 23rd would have been Mike's 40th birthday. We normally get helium balloons and have the kids write messages to him and let them go, but due to the weather we couldn't get to the store. So, instead we told funny stories about him and shared our best memories. I managed to hold it together but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard. 

* Counting down the days until my parents come home. 

Pictures from this past week

Jaxon getting ready to leave for the babysitter.

Blake loves blankets, and sometimes he steals them from his sister :)

A self portrait that Tyler did in art class. She is so much like her dad.

Jaxon really wanted to go to school with Tyler!



Sunday, January 10, 2016

I Wonder Just Who Made The Rules Up For This Game

     The title of this post was taken from the song Maybe Just Once by Nine Inch Nails.

     I've had a lot of "Mike" moments this week. I think about him all the time and there are always little things that remind me of him, but this week there have been more than usual. There have also been tears of worry and frustration mixed with hilarious family moments. I don't really have a clear idea of what I want to write tonight so I'll just write some things from this week.

1) Conversation with Sebastian...

Sebastian: "Mom, can I have a cookie?"

Me: "Sure, but just a couple." As he takes four "Hey, since when did a couple turn into four?"

Sebastian: "Since when did saying 'I just need a couple things from the store' turn into two carts full of groceries?"

Well played Sebastian, well played.

2) Blake started walking more. He has taken several steps in a row, but he has really started to be comfortable on his feet and it's so cute to watch him.

3) Tyler tried out for District band, but didn't make it. She handled it with such grace. She was disappointed but knew she had given it her all. I am so proud of her.

4) Sebastian passed his honors biology and honors geometry SOL tests. He stressed and stressed about geometry and I'm glad he passed and it's over.

5) I've been getting migraines the last six months and haven't made it to the doctor yet. This week I had the worst one I've had yet. It was awful. I really feel for people who have them all the time. 

6) My parents will be home at the end of March!!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!! I have missed them so much!

Friday, January 1, 2016

It's The Little Things In Life That Mean The Most. Not Where You Live, What You Drive, Or The Price Tag On Your Clothes

     The title of this post was taken from the song Chicken Fried by Zac Brown Band.

     New Years Eve 2015. I spent time at home surrounded by family. We ate good food, played games, talked about our hopes and dreams and everything in-between. It was low key and nothing fancy, but being with the ones I love was a great way to ring in the new year. As I look back over 2015 there are moments that I'm super proud of, moments that I regret, and things I would change. I set goals last year that I didn't achieve while others I worked really hard on.  This year I want to work on being okay with where I am in my life right. this. minute. I spend a lot of time beating myself up for things I haven't accomplished yet. I focus on the things I struggle with instead of looking at all the great things I do and have. I need to shift my thought process and be okay with who I am. I have a wonderful family and they love me just the way I am. Don't get me wrong, I have goals to improve upon things in my life, but while I'm working on those things I am also giving myself permission to be okay with how far I've come. 
      This morning the kids got up and Tyler made cinnamon roll waffles, and Blake curled up in my arms. I'm truly blessed.