Thursday, April 13, 2017

But My Words Like Silent Raindrops Fell

The title of this post was taken from the song The Sound Of Silence by Disturbed.

My Dearest Mike,    
     April 14th marks six years. Six years since I've seen you, heard your voice, or held your warm hand in mine. There are still so many things I want to tell you. So many things I want to share. So many questions. Why don't I ever feel like I have the answers I need? I cycle through so many emotions from moment to moment and nothing makes sense. I keep thinking about our early years together. I was 16 when we first met and barely 18 when we married. I had never met anyone like you and I wanted to be your everything because you were mine. As our relationship progressed and we got married we grew up together. We had no idea what we were doing, but most of the time we knew we would make it through together. And then one day 15 years later I was alone. My everything was gone. We had plenty of ups and downs through the years, but my constant companion through it all was just gone. I still feel your loss so deeply. Sometimes I yell at you. I yell at you for leaving me, for leaving us. It's completely irrational, I know it is. You wouldn't want this for me and I cry over that as well. You would be so mad at me for not dealing with this better. I've written this stupid post nine times and I still feel like nothing I say matches the whirlwind of emotions I'm feeling inside. Please watch over us. The kids miss you. We talk about you all the time because I'm determined they will never forget. Sebastian is a carbon copy of you and sometimes when he hugs me it's almost as if you were there...I can't do this tonight. I'll just go cry myself to sleep.
           
                                        Love,
                                           Mel




Fall of 1996



Fall of 1997


Fall of 2009


Fall of 2010


Fall of 2011


Fall of 2012


Fall of 2013


Fall of 2014


Fall of 2015


Fall of 2016


1 comment:

Karma Tucker said...

I love you so much. You are doing great. I know Mike thinks so too. :)